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Sometimes you just have to write things out… (or in the words of Monty Python – Life’s a pile of Shit)

Well this week has been a bit crap.

Disappointingly it’s only Monday.

But I get this sometimes when I sink into self pity and a general mire of ‘woe’ because one or two things happen which push things slightly over the precipice of complete shitness.

Don’t worry I will be fine – I always am – but it’s times like these that I have to take a deep breath and refocus.

You may have similar moments where things are simply ‘unfair’ it feels like everywhere you turn someone or something is out to get you.

What I want to do is stamp my feet, shout, scream, be HEARD, tell everyone this is UNFAIR!

I really, really want to do this, but I know that I can’t.

You see there are so many people worse off than me, it makes me feel like a petulant child. Except I’m not. I’m an intelligent, grown woman.

It’s a constant battle to take that deep breath, to count my blessings (I used to hate it when people told me that, what do they know about what I’ve gone through!!) but it does help.

Yes things aren’t always easy, but I’ve never gone hungry and it’s been many years since I was without a roof over my head – and in fairness that was only for a few days because I was too proud to go home.

So what is my problem?????

The answer is: I keep on picking myself up, and picking myself up, and picking myself up and it’s getting tiring… no jokes about weight here!

Sometimes it’s tough when from the outside and at base level I have nothing to complain about.

Except I FEEL broken.

I am blessed with so many talents which I love to share but I’m always on the outside, totally my own fault as I don’t feel comfortable around people, I know they don’t bite (well mostly) and I’m a naturally outgoing person on my outgoing side…

I’m totally rambling now!!

Deep breath.

The best thing I can do is take care of myself, take time to breathe…

I’m going to recognise the things I can’t change and write them down, put them in an envelope marked ‘later’ and file them. (It may be a large envelope)

Next i’m going to phone my kids to tell them how proud I am of them – again don’t worry this is me making sure my wonderful children know that they are valued not a suicide call!!!!

I’m then going to walk my gorgeous dog and take note of the things around me, the way the light catches on the ocean, the shapes the shadows from the trees make… I love nature it is so beautiful and asks for nothing in return.

I’m going to prioritise time with my wonderful husband – he may not appreciate this but it’s happening anyway!

Then I am going to paint (I admit I love painting and there’s an unashamed link to my art website on my painting!),



knit,

and create things that I can give to others…

Recharge my soul for a day or two.

Pick myself up.

Assess my situation and if there’s something I don’t like, take measured steps to change it, whilst acknowledging that change doesn’t happen overnight. I’m not naturally patient so this is the difficult bit.

Step one…

Breathe.

The sun will set, the moon will shine and the sun will rise again.

In more words of Monty Python…

Always look on the Bright Side of Life, de do dedo dedo dedo

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Self sabotage

I wanted to share a few things and I’ve tried to write them down and basically failed – I ran the past iterations past my wonderful husband who said they were ‘ok’ but not quite ‘right’… which is a kind way of saying they were sh1t.

I totally agreed – they weren’t in my ‘style‘ I was being too serious and it all got a bit depressing if I’m honest.

I naturally did the sensible thing and deleted the drafts and all associated photos etc. – thankfully my wonderful husband automatically backs up everything we do on some whizzo system so I didn’t lose the photos completely (apparently I do this regularly, I begged to differ however he is of course completely correct).

The thing is I really want to share a few things…

I want to share about the fact I have been diagnosed with Primary Lymphoedema – I didn’t even know this condition existed let alone the fact that I’ve been living with it for the past 20+ years! I just thought I had swollen sore ankles and legs because I was fat. I never felt comfortable in dresses and regularly joked that I had ‘elephantitis’ of the feet – ironically stage 3 Lymphoedema is exactly that!!!

My mind by the end of this thought had already latched on to the fact that I’m not fat – well technically I do have an overweight BMI… but seriously when I was in the ‘healthy’ bracket I looked awful and I was completely miserable!

But I have always had a ‘body image’ issue – when I look at myself I see someone at least three sizes bigger looking back at me and I don’t know why.

I’m not horrendous – at least I don’t think I am – so why do I see myself differently?

It affects all sorts of things, I literally think anyone who tells me I’m beautiful is a complete nut job who probably needs a long overdue trip to the opticians!

Subsequently my past choice in partners has been a bit ‘iffy’ – obviously I have moved on from this and my wonderful husband is just that (although I have actively discouraged any trips to the opticians just in case).

I also have a belief that I’m a bit stupid (being slightly dyslexic and ambidextrous didn’t help in school as the teachers simply didn’t know how to classify me – it really is ironic that they give those names to conditions that an ordinary person would struggle to spell!!), I have total squirrel syndrome which is also unhelpful (my wonderful husband has pointed out that not everyone may know what ‘squirrel syndrome’ is – it is where something moving catches the corner of your eye, a bit like seeing a squirrel in the garden when you’re in mid flow and you find yourself talking about nuts instead of tea) – but at the same time it is totally awesome as I love to learn all sorts of things, however sticking at them is tricky as something else catches my eye…

So all in all it turns out I’m a bit of a basket case…

I also seem to have lost my thread. Again. At least some things are predictable!!

The point, I think, is that all this has been holding me back – I don’t believe people who say nice things, I don’t believe in my own abilities because I’m constantly sabotaging my own potential!!

I mean seriously how stupid is a that!!!!

In order to try and see how stupid I was I took an IQ test – turns out I’m not that stupid (I took four different ones just in case the first one was out to flatter people – they were all in the same ball park).

I like to collect external validation, not content to love knitting I’ve started a master knitter course, not content to paint I entered exhibitions (I won the best domesticated animal category in the Association of Animal Artists annual exhibition in 2014), not content just to be a certified coach I am now a master coach – the list goes on…

Do I believe I’m ‘good enough’?

No

Am I getting better?

Yes, slowly

I feel that now my Lymphoedema has been diagnosed I can move forward – it proves that my self belief was not correct, something can be done to change it, I’m now in compression garments and I have actual ankles!! I’ve been totally obsessed with other peoples ankles for years!! I was forever looking at larger ladies and being completely and utterly envious of their skinny ankles… I can now buy a pair of cowboy boots!! I don’t think the medical staff have come across someone quite so excited at the thought of wearing compression garments for the rest of their lives…

I’m also contemplating seeing if I can influence the makers of the garments to design some fun patterns – a fishnet pattern in purple with sparkles would be totally awesome!

Exciting Stuff

Old Times and New Starts

It’s been ssssooooo long since I last blogged – this has turned out to be a long one but bare with, I do occasionally take a breath!

I had intended, now that I’ve finished Body Boss and developed a more ‘standard’ exercise regime – ok I admit, my husband and I now go to a personal trainer once a week, possibly not ‘ standard’ per se… but it is great for accountability and to be honest compared to a gym membership which would only be used for the first few months (there is no point in denying it) it is actually good value for money – there’s nothing like having someone being disappointed in you to get you doing at least three of their quick workouts a week!!! We get to learn all sorts of techniques which makes it easier to work out – basically you don’t realise you’re doing it, we can now do a Turkish Get Up WITH a kettlebell! Although I do always worry when he starts smiling at the start of the session…

Sorry, back to the sentence start… I had intended to Blog more regularly about ‘stuff’.

There have been several things that have sidetracked me, work, setting up a coaching business, being one of a team setting up a menu planning site for people with allergies/ dietary restrictions, my art business and, basically, life.

It also is tricky when you know you should ‘niche’ down to a specific audience, that’s great if you have one passion, but what if you have more?

What if you are an avid health person (currently working with kettlebells and trying a Keto Diet, which is quite easy when you’re gluten intolerant!), a passionate artist, an obsessive knitter (there’s a whole series just in that!), an old time actress (currently retired from the Flea Circus but will return on my return to the UK!) and wannabe comedienne – and that’s not counting the business side?? It gets tricky…

However this week I learnt that an old friend had passed away suddenly, she was only a year or so older than me, and although we hadn’t spoken for a number of years it really hit home. She was way too young. I remembered all the amazing times we had as a group – we were pretty wild back then, ok looking back if my daughter got up to half the things we were doing she’d be grounded until she was at least thirty, possibly older. It crossed my mind how we all survived it! But then we didn’t all survive it three of the group have passed away and two went into rehab… wellness awareness wasn’t a ‘thing’, we were living on the edge with little to no safety net…

I was always the one with a story, usually funny, usually something I’d done that had gone horribly wrong but somehow worked out ok, I’ve always loved telling stories, I love blogging (hard to imagine given how long it’s been!!).

It made me think how quickly time passes, I wanted to go on stage, I did for a bit but then I needed to pay rent etc., I became sensible (I quite like who I am) and now I’m too old being the wrong side of 45 (wrong side of 21 in my head!) and although I still have curves they’re now in the wrong places… My wonderful husband has pointed out that he disagrees with this statement, he may get banned from proof reading, but I do love that he believes that 🙂 I have also recently been diagnosed with primary Lymphoedema – I am overwhelmed to have this diagnosis, it is the biggest relief in ages!!! I literally cried!!! My doctor in the UK had told me that I had swollen ankles and legs (which hurt!) because I was F.A.T., honestly she actually said the letters rather than just saying I was fat, I was a UK size 14 at the time, it did nothing for my self esteem and although I never let it stop me, I’ve not felt comfortable in a dress for about 17 years and spent loads on water retention tablets which did nothing!! I honestly thought ankle bones were a myth… Thanks to my wonderful husband I now have unicorn slippers to fit over my bandages which are on for a few weeks whilst I undergo drainage therapy – Nya thinks they’re her new toy.

Sorry rambling again…

I really ought to stick to the point, but that is the point, what if you have more sides than a dodecahedron and just want to make people smile?

My wonderful husband has suggested a YouTube channel for my ‘monologues’, I was going to ask him what he meant but then realised he meant our conversations… He said he’d film it…

On plus side which is slightly of topic (you can decide which topic) I can now do a headstand – it’s taken over a year of trying, one of my BodyBoss posts has my first attempt! Please excuse the PJ’s nothing else fits over the bandages… and also my stomach, I couldn’t keep my top tucked in – I have stretch marks and I’m rather proud of them 🙂

Attempt number one 2017 – note, close to the wall and held for approximately half a nanosecond:

Attempt today (2018) – note, no where near a wall and held for about a minute while my wonderful husband phaffed!!!:

I think my original thing was to say I’m back, I may also be on a YouTube channel… If there is anything you’d like me to attempt to stay on subject for, let me know!

Exciting Stuff · Uncategorized

Eye Eye… Look who’s just gone and done it!

Well 20+ years of contemplation, investigation and general parping I am finally sat here typing this sans glasses!!!

I have worn glasses since I was twelve and those of you from the UK will know the pain of the pink NHS plastic glasses issued to those who couldn’t afford/ weren’t prepared to pay the extra for any glasses that looked remotely cool:

Delightful aren’t they?

I knew we weren’t well off (at all) but I did really hate those glasses and yes I did suffer the usual ‘four eyes’ jokes.

Of course now I’m a parent I can totally understand why my mum was reluctant to pay the extra when my prescription was changing twice a year and I did have a tendency to loose/sit on them!!

So when this new fangled laser eye surgery came into existence I thought my saviour had arrived – no more glasses!!!!!

However back then it was a developing science and ignoring the fact that I definitely couldn’t afford it I started to look into whether it was feasible… the short answer being – No.

This was due to the fact the my poor eyesight is largely down to having an astigmatisms which back then was untreatable. I treat this as a sign, on the basis that I couldn’t afford it anyway and carried on with life…

About ten or fifteen years later my little brother has his eyes lasered – it’s brilliant! He’s a convert – I literally hear about nothing else…

Naturally I start to look into it again (I am now sporting glasses that are quite nice so I don’t mind wearing them but I would still rather not).

I discover they can now do my prescription! However I still still can’t afford it so start looking down the contacts route instead – you can now get weighted contacts, but they’re hard ones and extremely uncomfortable… I stick with glasses… I buy a designer pair… I sit on them… my mother really did know what she was doing.

A few years later my hairdresser has her eyes ‘done’ she has the same prescription as me… it is very tempting… I’m now on toric soft daily disposable contacts but my vision isn’t as good as glasses as they ‘swing’ whenever I blink so that everything goes a bit blurry, but they’re good for a night out.

I look more at the side affects as I’m an artist in my spare time now and I do love my art, ridiculously so, (feel free to check out my work on FaceBook / website – the website needs updating, it’s on my ‘to do’ list along with several hundred other things – let me know what you think) my eyes are naturally dry so I’m concerned about extra dryness but I’m also terrified about losing my sight, after all it’s just cosmetic, I can see perfectly fine with my glasses (I’m now on ones the you can sit on and they spring back into shape – genius!).

Fast forward another five years… I should probably warn you about the length of this blog – but it does span 20+ years!

I am on secondment in the USA and my son has just has his eyes lasered, he is also a total convert and one that knows I’ve been looking into it far his entire life so I hear everything and basically I should “JDI Mother!”

I take this on board and look at the advancements that have been made, along with the cost – it’s not cheap the £250 per eye is basically bol***ks – I’m an accountant by original trade and I’ve been borderline (and occasionally well over the border) broke for most of my life and so frivolous spending is not on my agenda, however, over the last few years, things have become easier. But old habits die hard and to be honest I’m glad.

So I look at the price I pay for my designer glasses, my occasional contacts etc. compare it to the fact that I have dents in my head and nose thanks to the glasses, the issue re sunglasses (esp. now we live somewhere that sees the sun more than twice a year!) and the poo bag issue…

It’s still a lot of money with a long pay back period… I research what’s around locally and how much… I imagine on the basis that everything except petrol (gas) in the USA is TONS more expensive than the UK that it will be a decision for when we return to the UK.

I found a place in Connecticut called Liberty Vision in Hamden – they have excellent reviews – better than others, I do believe reviews are an excellent first check, make sure you look at recent reviews and see if they are ‘confirmed’ customers where applicable. They seem good and they do the latest surgery techniques that involve 6300 individual readings of each eye to customise the treatment.

The cost is comparable to the cost in the UK in fact to my surprise it’s slightly cheaper!!! I know!!!

It’s Christmas so as I’m with my son and also seeing my brother I interrogate the pair of them on the finer details… I’m on the verge of a decision… I still can’t really afford it but I do have an empty credit card… so I am considering it…

I would like to point out at this point that I truly believe that you should not put something that is not absolutely necessary on credit!!!!! I know I’m the worlds worst on this but now I’m free of the debt I would totally recommend never getting into it again. EVER. I cease considering it again.

Shortly after Christmas I come into some money – a small inheritance (not so small for me!) which could either get me an electric harp when we return to the UK or… it could… possibly… I book an appointment to see Dr Gold!!!

I have the free consultation – it’s very thorough and I’m very impressed with Dr Gold, he is reassuring and doesn’t sugar coat the procedure which I appreciate, he also instantly gave me a feeling of trust which is so important.

I book in for the ‘Op’ at the next available slot – if I think about this much longer I’ll have died of old age!

So… E Day!!

I am so excited/nervous/terrified!!!

During the procedure you’re given a bear called Seymour (see-more, I wasn’t in a ‘laughing at jokes’ place but did appreciate the humour) to hold – this is to stop you from trying to wipe your eye – I felt a bit sorry for Seymour, i don’t know how other people hold him but I nearly decapitated the poor thing!

The ‘procedure’ is not pleasant, at all. However it is over very quickly.

It really is very unpleasant – did I mention that?

I had the procedure where they remove the top layer of your eye and then laser it (don’t worry I was reassured this layer grows back in about three days) rather than the one where they cut a flap on your eye, lift that up and then laser – the recovery time for the ‘flap’ one is much quicker however the cut never heals… I didn’t like the sound of that – neither did Dr Gold who doesn’t operate that procedure at all.

My wonderful husband was able to video the procedure from an adjoining room where he got to watch the camera on the laser machine! He has the video and I did consider posting it here but it is a bit grim… I’m glad I couldn’t see it! So instead this is my eye being lasered!

As soon as it’s finished (which i am exceedingly glad about! It doesn’t hurt but it’s not nice) I notice the clock on the wall which I couldn’t read before – it’s 10:25!!!! The whole thing took ten minutes and i can see!!!!

My eye’s are sore, actually very sore, which is to be expected – there are a lot of instructions which boy am I going to follow!!!

But I think I can rock this laser look!

One week later – no protective lenses, drops every few hours and i can see better than I could with glasses, I was even able to wear make-up again and you have no idea how much easier it is when you can actually see (although I think I do need more practice).

There is one downside… it appears my bathroom needs a damn good clean!

Exciting Stuff

Poo bags

Ok I know it’s been a while since I last blogged… it’s been a funny few months, lots going on, some expected – some not so. 

In my head I’ve written at least 30 blogs, three of which had potential and I’m writing this one – it’s probably one of the 27…

I would like to point out that we absolutely ADORE our little puppy (well she’s nearly one now so not so little anymore!) she’s a Lhasa Apso and my husband and I got her for a number of reasons, (I did say to my wonderful husband when we first got together that if I ever ask for a puppy he should be strong and say ‘no’. He lasted nearly two years – I’m very proud of him!!) however there is an issue… POO BAGS!

One of the reasons we got our gorgeous pup was to get us out and walking, we love walking but when you’re in a new place (half way across the world from your normal social group!) and you’re busy at work it’s way too easy just to come home, close the door, open the wine and not go anywhere – there’s no-one dragging you out and you don’t know where to go as you’ve very little local knowledge.

Don’t worry we do still open the wine but once we’re back from a stroll!!

And so little Nya came into our home – to be fair she chose us. She’s called Nya as my mum was concerned we would be tying ourselves down with a dog and so felt if we needed a pet we should get a goldfish… Nya is tibetian for Fish (there are several Tibetan words for Fish – in our opinion Nya is the prettiest) and she is gold… I know I know, I promise that one day I will grow up, maybe…

However there is a downside to this, and I’m not sure if anyone else has the same issue, but why is it that you get to your choice of walk, you walk around a bit to get your little ones ‘moving’ before you head out – this is also when my wonderful husband has a vape, as I’m a mean wife and have asked him to vape at the beginning and end of the walk rather than on it so that we can hold hands etc. and I don’t get wafted by a cherry infused cloud, this is far better than smoke but as a non smoker I prefer to smell flowers. 

I’m procrastinating and wandering off on a completely different subject!

The point being that inevitably ‘nothing happens’ during this little preamble and so we head out on our walk, whereupon little Nya will proceed to poop at the absolute perfect time – just far enough in that it’s too far to turn back to the car park to put the poo bag in the bin so you carry it with you – for the next hour…

This in itself is probably fine, everyone who has a dog does it, right? 

My issue is not with carrying said poo bag – in fact when it’s really cold it can act as an environmentally friendly hand warmer… we’ve all done it!!

My issue is if, like me, you wear glasses and you’re acting on impulse you regularly have to push your glasses up your nose… remember how I like to smell the flowers? Poo bags are very aromatic as they bounce delicately off the end of your nose…


So for the last 9 months this has been the downside of going walking… until today!!!

And I have no idea why it has taken me this long, I do wonder what I could achieve if I actually used my brain, imagine my surprise when I thought to myself – why don’t I just tie this poo bag to the strap of my handbag?

Flipping obvious really!

Meanwhile our litltle rock climbing pup tires herself out looking too cute to possibly cause this much trouble!


Although I am pretty sure she knows exactly what she’s doing…

Exciting Stuff

Orange water!

When life throws you curved balls…

It’s been one of ‘those’ weeks, you know the ones, I’m sure everybody has them… at least I hope they do! When you start out with best intentions and that’s about as far as it gets.

My plan was to get the girls ready for our road trip to Tennessee, attend a ‘learn to play the harp’ webinar prior to the online course starting in September (I’ll fill you in on that in another blog!), do a Yogaburn workout, take puppy to the kennels, help to pick up the hired minivan (there was no way we were doing a road trip with three teenagers in anything smaller!) and be at the airport to pick number one son up at 4:45pm. That was just day one.

Corralling two teenage girls is never easy, ensuring they’ve packed everything and making sure the chargers, headphones etc. were easily accessible along with a variety of random snacks is key! To be fair this went reasonably smoothly… could’ve been a lot worse…

I did a quick tidy up loaded the dishwasher, pressed ‘go’ and nothing… literally nothing… at this point number one daughter pointed out that the white stripes on her Nike top were orange… 

The orange thing does need explanation as it’s the one thing about living in the states which has literally made me cry. I love my white sheets, white tee shirts and I happen to have a pair of white shorts that actually look good on me. 

Since moving to the states everything has turned a blotched orange, I’ve binned all my white tee shirts and it’s only thanks to discovering ‘Iron Out’ that I’ve managed to keep my white shorts (there’s an orange line on the seam but it’s not overly noticeable). It’s been getting steadily worse too…

I phone our landlady – first time in ages, to be honest she’s lovely always really helpful – this is another British thing, we tend not to ask for help but just ‘muddle through making the best of the situation’ which is great but sometimes a careful question can save so much time and in this case, clothes!

Upshot is that not only do I mention the dishwasher (it’s being sorted on Tuesday) but due to my slightly elevated stress levels I also mention the orange water – I’m quite proud of myself for not bursting into tears, time is marching on and we still have so much to do, now to include washing up!!

It turns out that we’re on a well water system – we were aware of this but as I’d never come across this in the U.K. and water came out of the taps etc. I gave it no more thought, apparently it needs salt.

However at this point I don’t have time to sort it out, so on with the washing up!

This makes us late for the kennels – not late as such, but behind schedule, upshot is puppy dropped off, running happily into her enclosure without so much as a by your leave – just the same as the kids heading off to school for the first time, you’re so anxious and they don’t even give you a second glance – but the webinar starts before we can get home – plan B swings into action and I load the meeting space onto my I-phone and dail in while my husband drives, not the best way to attend a meeting but it works!

I’m starting to feel like some sort of wonder woman! 

We get home, a couple of slight technical glitches later and I can join the second half of the meeting on my I-pad – much easier to see, hear and interact with 🙂

The rest of the schedule starts to regain momentum and we reach the airport as the plane lands – by the time we park we have five minutes to wait before number one son walks through arrivals and I get a big hug = one very happy mum 🙂

We start our road trip – we are breaking the journey with a stop at a motel, number one daughter has watched way too much trashy Telly and is convinced we will be murdered in our beds.

Breakfast was rubbish. We weren’t shot. 

The next afternoon we arrive in Tennessee in a wonderful lodge overlooking the smokey mountains, the wine is open and the views are gorgeous.


The next three days are spent in Dollywood – I’ve always wanted to go, other kids wanted Disney, me I wanted to go to Dollywood!!

My kids had never heard of it and were a little sceptical – I was terrified in case it didn’t live up to my expectations…

All I can say is what an amazing place! It’s the most family friendly fun place I’ve been – it helps that American schools have gone back, UK schools don’t start till the beginning of September – subsequently no queues for any of the rides!! 


I love the sculptures, the theatre, the rides, there’s even a steam train!


All on board for the Dollywood Express!!

We drive back home in one go, 15 hours including stops… and I have to say all the kids were amazing! It really does help having a car with multiple charging points, a plug for number one sons laptop and audible books for us in the front – Wolves of London by Mark Morris… it was tempting to take an hour detour to finish the book, but not that tempting, especially as there’s another airport run soon!

Back to reality, and into the basement… there’s a tank, a scuba thing and a sealed tank – I have categorically no idea what any of it is… however there is a phone number on the scuba tank thing, I give it a ring and speak to the most wonderfully helpful person, she talks me through what’s in the basement and with the help of a few photos texted to the company’s mobile I have a solution!


I now know that there is a filter system in the basement which has a bucket thing which you have to keep half fill with salt – there was nothing in it apart from a red scum like pool… there has been little to no salt in it for nearly a year… oops…

She even tells me where I can get the salt and how to kick start the system – it takes five 40lb bags to half fill the tank…

I follow instructions and then start up the washer (we have a lot of washing!) and OMG there’s no more orange, the water in the bathroom doesn’t smell or taste ‘funny’ – you have no comprehension as to how happy I am!!!!

Although a thought has occurred to me… I dye my hair (I’ve been grey since my late twenties and at fortysix have no intention of going grey gracefully, even if it’s the new ‘thing’ thanks to the Game of Thrones!) and my hair color fades to a really lovely copper colour, I wonder if it will still be copper now the orange water has gone…

Yoga burn

Yoga burn!

Now that I’ve completed the Bodyboss program I feel pretty damn good about myself!

I know there is still work to do, my core and upper body strength are not the best – see my complete inability to do push-ups in my previous posts, but thanks to Bodyboss at least they’re not completely nonexistent! I would love to be able to do some of the inversion poses I’ve seen on instagram, (my one attempt at a headstand has got me hooked!) I figure to be able to do yoga you need to be strong…

So scrolling through Facebook I keep hitting a promotional post for yoga burn, it looks interesting and it’s in budget, it also professes to be a progressive program building up to the more challenging poses whilst boosting your metabolism – I’m still refusing to diet by the way! – the one thing I really liked about Bodyboss was that it told me what to do each day, I need that as I’m rubbish at organising myself… I will always pick the easy option, especially after a long day at work… I order the program!

After about a week my DVD’s arrive, Bodyboss has better packaging. But it’s the content I’m after so I open the case. 


You also get a digital download which is good as it has the option of the audible version, I’m assuming once you figure out what the poses are you don’t need to watch the screen, plus it gives the option of doing the routines outside which I like the sound of, although being the type of person that mosquitoes dream of I’m not sure how relaxing it would be… I’ve yet to summon up the courage to apply the quantity of deet that would be necessary.

I watch the intro, there’s more to this than meets the eye… isn’t that always the case!!

The idea is to do the three ‘burn’ workouts within a seven day period, in addition there are also ‘tips and tools’ and ‘tranquility flow’ which you can do on the other days along with gentle exercise – I always like the sound of ‘gentle exercise’, to me that’s walking to the fridge and getting some tonic for my gin, I suspect that’s not what they mean… but if it’s not specific… and it’s a reasonable walk to the fridge if I detour upstairs to put the washing in en route…

In your first package you also get a months trial of ‘yoga monthly’ which is four weeks of three different practices a week plus meditation, beginner flow and pose tutorials… this effectively means you’re doing a practice a day. Every day. In fact you could probably do more, probably.

I decided to pay for the monthly subscription for at least another month to give me more variation and the time to decide if the monthly DVD’s were worth it. It also gives me an idea when to change from ‘phase one’ to ‘phase two’ of the main program.

Let’s go! Week One!

Ok, this is definitely not as easy as it looks!! 

For anyone else thinking of doing this I would recommend watching the routine before you attempt it. She moves really quickly! I got completely lost! 

The burn routines are fifteen minutes long and you repeat them three times in a session, this is not relaxing yoga, you sweat, a lot. And when you sweat in a ‘down dog’ position the sweat runs up your nose. This was not anticipated. I honestly don’t think you can do anything about it either…

Some of the balances are pretty challenging, not impossible, but not easy!! There’s a twisted pose that ties you up in knots… falling over is not an option, there simply isn’t enough time to unwrap before you hit the floor. 


I probably should have sucked my tummy in more for the photo however I was using all my concentration on remaining upright…

There is also a balance pose where you go up on tip toes and then bend your knees as if to sit down, far trickier than it sounds by a lot!!

I have been doing the program for three weeks now and I think I need a picture goal in addition to the ‘after’ picture from Bodyboss – that’s my starting point, although the two week break in between programs didn’t do me any favours, well I was on holiday! 

One of the gentlier practices involves sitting on the mat in the centre with your heels on the mat in each corner… you then drape over each knee in turn to stretch… sounds so easy… looks so easy… my goal is to get the flexibility to have my heels on the mat!

This is my starting point…


I have a little way to go yet! 

To reduce my spare tyre to be able to ‘drape’ anywhere would also be useful…